


I just miss him.

by THE_HERO



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Grab your tissues, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Just a short lil thang..., Little side story thing from my favorite Bokuaka fic, M/M, Welcome to Fukurodani
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 08:18:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6746407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/THE_HERO/pseuds/THE_HERO
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa's gone. He really is.<br/>And honestly,<br/>I just miss him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I just miss him.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I'm currently obsessed with Hatakashi's Bokuaka fic- 'Welcome to Fukurodani' 
> 
> And well some things happened, If you haven't read it yet and you are planning to I suggest to read that first to avoid any spoilers. If you have then I'm sorry! I share your pain and wanted to vent it all out with this.
> 
> SO GRAB YO TISSUES HOES AND CRY WITH MEEE!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥
> 
> (You don't have to have read the story to read this. It's just in case you plan to :P)

The desk beside me remained empty. He was gone. I don’t want to believe it, but the evidence is there. Always present in the suffocating emptiness lingering around me. Staring me directly in the eyes. Classes weren’t the same for the entire school. The teachers avoided any mention of his name. Skipping him on the role- Everyone holds their breath as the teacher’s pause, the silence deafening- Eventually he was taken off all together.

The absence of him makes my days dulled. Lifeless. Void of any form of happiness. We were forced to forfeit our place in the comp. No one could bring themselves to try and stay, for shame of attending without our captain. I’m quitting volleyball. It’s not the same without him. I know he wouldn’t want me too; he’d want me to stay. But I can’t bring myself to keep at it.

I spend my waking days now in a trance. In class I find myself staring blankly table beside me. Empty- So very, very empty- I wish he was still here; I guess that’s only natural. I wish I could resurrect the dead; I suppose that’s natural as well. I tried to skip multiple classes but apparently your best friend dying isn’t a valid reason to not attend.  
Every night I go home and get wasted. I know it’s not good for me, and he would reprimand me if her knew. God if only he knew, if only he could know. One day, maybe- just maybe, once I’ve dragged my sorry ass out of this stupor I’ve thrown myself into, I may be ready. Ready to move on. It will never be the same. But I know that this is the last thing he would want me to do. 

The last thing that Oikawa would want. 

Oikawa. 

Tooru. 

I know you want me to move on, but I can’t. I can’t leave you behind. You were- NO you still are- my whole life, my universe. My Oikawa. I love you. I still do. You’re my entire life. I love you with my entire heart. My very being. Without you I am nothing but a shadow of my former self. You’ve taken me with you to your grave. 

I know you want me to be happy. I feel as if that’s all you ever wanted. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. For you, to be happy. I was there for you. If only you had shared more of yourself. I wanted all of it, all of you. I thought I knew everything about you. I’ve known you for so long. If only I had had more time to break down your walls and make you see. That I was there. I was always there.  
I still am. 

But you’re not...

I want to join you. I want to see you again. To hear your laugh once more and to laugh along with you. I just want to be with you again. I want to.

But I know you wouldn’t want me too. You’d want me to stay strong. To persevere. So I will. For you.

It’s always been for you.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. o-o ♥


End file.
